I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.
Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.
Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.
Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.
Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?
Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.
I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness."
This speaks to me. Bodies are amazing: I’m especially fond of the little patches of fat that grow around areas of the body where we have musculoskeletal issues. It’s the body’s way of helping to pad and protect that are. We are so amazingly adaptive. Whatever is happening in our heads, our bodies want us to survive, to function, to grow and prosper. (via stele3)
when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”
i think it’s really interesting and cool actually that language has shifted so that ‘said’ implies that you’re quoting, while ‘was like’ means ‘i’m doing a general impression of this dude’. i mean you can’t really harsh on someone when ‘she was like aaah!’ means exactly that, doesn’t it? she was doing something very similar to the particular scream being made. so, ‘like’ indicates that you’re dealing with generalities and inexact terms, and want to convey the gist of things rather than focussing on exact phrasing and technical details—which is pretty great for young people, who are still developing cognitively and thus not always great at stringing a coherent sentence together.
and then there’s “was all”, which tends to indicate a parody or exaggeration, or an even looser impression.
she said: “I know I’ve filed these for you before, but it’s really not part of my job duties and I’m very busy today.”
she was like: “done filing your paperwork, not my department, do it yourself.”
she was all: “shyeah, no.”
i am all in favor of flexibility in language and i think this is fantastic.